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How to Screw Up Your Family, Books 1 to 5

 

 

Written by Pamela Fagan Hutchins

Narrated by Sandy Weaver Carman, Debbie Andreen

Duration 20 hours and 5 minutes

*Entire Series* Request Books 1 to 5 (20+ hours)

*USA Today Bestselling Author*

Book 1:  How To Screw Up Your Kids: Blended Families, Blendered Style

*USA Best Book Award 2015 Parenting*

Married couples with children divorce 40 percent of the time. In less than three years after that divorce, chances are both mom and dad are remarried, and probably each to someone who has kids of their own. The single most explosive and divisive issue in those marriages? Stepparenting. Wouldn’t it be nice if we all lived in a bubble gum and sugar plum world where, without a ripple on Lake Placid, kids embraced stepparents and appreciated their contributions? Where stepsiblings didn’t compete for attention and argue over favorites and fairness? Well, we don’t. So what we need when stepparenting is a good plan.

A plan for blending, or blendering if you will, the disparate stepchildren and their parents into a chunky smoothie of stepfamily goodness. How To Screw Up Your Kids helps the parents everyone predicts will fail prove all the naysayers wrong. Through the use of practical human relations principles and the author’s achingly honest and often hilarious stories, listeners will learn to envision and instill a unique set of family values and culture into their new household, and by God, have fun doing it.

Book 2: How to Screw Up Your Marriage: Do-Over Tips for First-Time Failures

Let’s face it. People keep getting married. Yet over 40% of first marriages end in divorce and up to 67% of second do, too, with statistics becoming predictably more dismal as the number of trips to the altar rack up. It seems like, for many of us, the longing to be half of a couple so in love they make other people want to puke is too strong to ignore. The problem is, we’ve all grown up to expect that fairytale endings happen by accident, that if we wish upon a star, or let down our golden hair, then, blammo, we’ll get our happily ever after. In other words, we’re lazy and feel entitled to have the one thing we want most in the world – the one thing we should work hardest to create and nurture – without doing squat to make our dreams reality.

We fall in love, we marry, we pout, we nag, we sulk, and we sabotage. How to Screw Up Your Marriage interrupts the pity party with a no-nonsense formula for couplehood success, written by a human relations expert who is herself in a wonderfully nauseating marriage with a passel of his and hers kids. 2nd Place, 2012 Houston Writers Guild Narrative Nonfiction Manuscript Contest.

Book 3: The Clark Kent Chronicles: A Mother’s Tale Of Life With Her ADHD And Asperger’s Son

They’re the parents who other people secretly believe must be doing a crappy job, the ones whose children don lacrosse gloves to weed the flowerbed, won’t turn in their homework, and throw age-inappropriate tantrums in public. They’re the parents one frayed nerve short of a breakdown as they scrub off the giant perceived “L” for “Loser” from their foreheads, turning for help to every source they can think of, because their kids just don’t respond like other kids, because their kids aren’t like other kids.

The very brains of their children are wired differently, and the disciplines, motivators, and strategies that are supposed to work on them, according to conventional wisdom, don’t. These are the parents of children on the ADHD Spectrum, and most of them have used up their Phone a Friend Lifeline and just want a little understanding and the hope of shared knowledge from someone else who has survived a life like theirs.

They are parents like Pamela Fagan Hutchins, whose son, dubbed, “Clark Kent the WonderKid” has ADHD and Asperger’s Syndrome. Pamela takes listeners on a heart-wrenching and hilarious road trip from toddler to adulthood with Clark Kent and his family, sharing their collective wisdom and empathy along the way.

Book 4: Hot Flashes and Half Ironmans: Middle-Aged Endurance Athletics Meets the Hormonally Challenged

*Award-Winning Finalist in the “Women’s Health” category of The 2012 USA Best Book Awards.*

Women get older, dammit, and sometimes it sucks, especially for women who pride themselves on athleticism and an adventurous spirit. Hot flashes. Weight gain. Sleepless nights. Yes, it can be hard, but middle age doesn’t have to be a flashing red stop light. It’s perfectly acceptable for women of a certain age, a certain level of hormonal imbalance, and a certain amount of cellulite to don spandex and even enter the rarefied sport of endurance triathlon.

In fact, there’s a huge advantage to aging: much of the potential competition drops out in favor of the couch and a remote control. And the endurance high? The elation of dietary purity and discovering you can have arms like Madonna? The Zen of goal attainment? Better than a good Shiraz buzz. Once you get past the ugly mood swings, chafing on your girly parts, and a “kill your own mother” craving for sleep and a hot Cinnabon, that is. Pamela Fagan Hutchins has been there and done that, with lessons learned and sense of humor (usually) intact. She completed her first triathlon at 39 and her first Half Ironman at 40. She has her eye on an M-dot tattoo in 2014.

Book 5: Puppalicious And Beyond: Life Outside The Center Of The Universe

Life Outside The Center Of The Universe… Do you rank Where The Red Fern Grows along with Wuthering Heights amongst your favorite books of all time? All Creatures Great and Small with Pet Sematary? If so, chances are you get it: there’s something magical about giving literary immortality and voice to the non-humans that capture our collective imagination. If these are the stories that glue you to the page, then Puppalicious and Beyond is the book for you. Set in the Caribbean and Texas, Pamela weaves tales fictional and factual of the magnificent and interrelated creatures – natural and supernatural – that passed through the authors’ life, bringing her delight, fright, and every emotion in between.

*****

NOTE:  Pamela Fagan Hutchins also writes romantic suspense/mystery novels, including the 12-volume What Doesn’t Kill You series, available at AudioFreebies as four trilogies (while codes remain):

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